still here in vienna. it is the warmest autumn since years, and i can´t belive it. there was like one day of snow, but since that temperature keeps around 10°C, which is really w arm, especially for this time of the year. getting up in a winter- morning still tends to be rather hard, because until midday it´s imposible to see the sun- never seen so much fog.
i discovered a new place to study, at the libary of the technical university of vienna. they have windows, good heating, large working spaces and i´m definitly aware of meeting someone i know. in the last weeks i had a lot of doubts if the project for my dissertation would work out, and somehow i completly lost orientation in the whole thing. i thought about leaving it with a simple literature research here in vienna. so i went quite depressed to see the profesor, who is the tutor of my project. he´s just nice! he told me that i´m a clever girl and other things like that, that i really needed to hear. and he even told me that for him it´s absolutely necessary that i´ll go to spain.
so the next date to present my project to receive a scholarship is the 15th. of january and i just don´t see how i will manage to get through with all the stuff.
i´m starting to search now for archives , libaries and so on to get some contacts and help to make my research plan. somehow i´m really afraid of all of that, because at last i´ll be in spain travelling two months around, working all day long with books and newspapers and after that i´ll be in towns i don´t know, or at least i won´t know a lot of people there. so i´m just scared to death.
but right now that´s still a little bit away and i´m quite fine at the moment. had my first punsch two weeks ago and whenever i find the time i´m meeting someone. it´s great, all this christmas mood going on. i really was missing that. and now for the first time they put christmas streets. it´s kind of nice. i´m thinking about what it will be like next year and i don´t know, to have this tension that i don´t really have an idea how it will be gives me wings. this insecurity makes me feel like that everything is a big adventure that i really look forward to. the only thing to start the adventure is to finish university.
guess that all of these things i´m writing sound pretty adolescent, but it´s a nice feeling to get it out of mind, at least in a blog. (and i´m sure noone reads it, because noone is commenting anything;) )
